This Woman (TW) Continued ~ Part II

Introducing This Woman (TW) Continued ~ Part II    Posted on jadebeaty.com, 12/1/09

Over the next month, I taught them sacred spot massage for her and gave them homework assignments. I suggested that they both journal after the sessions of sacred spot work, and then read their entries to each other. TW was cut and torn during the attack, so genital massage and intentional touch were very healing. Her husband was thrilled to have something ‘hands on’ to do to help her. Together, they unwound many layers of distress, horror, terror, fear, confusion, shame and guilt. We worked on empowering her voice to say exactly what she needed in every moment. She got to completely control the environment and always be able to say “No,” and have it instantly and absolutely respected.

We had another couples session and talked about a possible ceremony ~ perhaps a rite of passage into her new life as a mother, rather than her old identity as a rape victim. What I know about a woman’s first sexual experience is that it is what I call an ‘imprint’ on her sexuality for the rest of her life, unless she heals the parts that felt injurious or disrespectful of her precious gift to her lover (or rapist, as the case may be). Very few women have a fabulous first sexual experience, and many of us have the type of experience that is full of fumbling and gritting of teeth, just to get through it. I suggested a ‘reflowering’ ceremony for TW, that would take place with a lot of planning and a strong foundation of safety, comfort and respect. To be concluded in Part III…